I’ve had a lot of blogs over the last 10 years or so; I started doing this blogging thing in college after my first (and last) heartbreak as a way of venting anger that no would actually be forced to listen to. I started on a site called Diary-X, which I believe no longer exists. Since then, I’ve gone from there to Livejournal, to Blogger, to having my very own domain, and then back to Blogger and WordPress several times. Every time, I eventually lose motivation because it seems that no one is interested.
This time, however, I have a new angle. You see, I am 28 years old. I live in the United States, hold two B.A.s and an M.A. and speak four languages (okay, really, three fluent languages and a fourth that I’m working on fluency in). I hold two citizenships, have traveled some, and have lived in the Middle East. My education is in Middle Eastern studies and Middle Eastern history. I am passionate about world cultures, languages, foreign affairs and womens’ issues.
And with all of this, I am unemployed and have been so for 14 months and counting. I have tried applying to several local retail outlets, to countless administrative assistant positions for which I am probably far overqualified, and for many positions that are actually in my field. I have tried applying part-time and I have tried applying for internships. Thus far, I have not had a single success.
I have an interview tomorrow with a major ballroom dance studio that needs instructors. Their Craigslist ad claimed “no previous experience required” and explained that they will train. I have not done ballroom dancing since college, mostly for lack of funds (dance is a wonderful but expensive hobby), but I am quite the Latin dancer. I’m very worried, though, because I don’t think that I’m qualified to teach and I’m very afraid that I am going to walk in and embarrass the hell out of myself tomorrow. I am afraid that my underqualification is going to be painfully obvious and that my interviewer is going to address me as if I were a petulant child who never should have tried to take up his time. But we’ll see.
The mother of a high school friend is trying to help and I appreciate her efforts very much, but it pains me to see that so many jobs out there seem not to want my skill set. It seems that if you do not have a background in a technical or business field, there is little out there for you that promises a fulfilling career with advancement prospects.
And there’s one more little problem: I am shy. Very shy. So shy that contact with unfamiliar people induces a kind of anxiety that is painful. Oh, I’m very good at connecting with people on the Internet, where there is sufficient distance for my taste, but I know that getting and holding a job will require face-to-face contact with people, and sometimes, with men. This is a daunting prospect for me.
Anyhow, I started this new blog, for the umpteenth time, in the hopes that people who might be facing similar situations find it and maybe share stories and encouragement and maybe, just maybe, suggestions and tactics.