10 PM Wednesday Night

My interview was 2.5 weeks ago. I was told they would finish interviewing exactly a week ago. I haven’t heard anything – I’m not sure what that means, and I don’t want to give up just yet.

Moving on.

I’ve been good for the last few weeks; I cut out the junk I was eating, I quit drinking Dr. Pepper in favor of water and I got a bunch of fruits and vegetables and yogurt to eat for snacks. And I went to the gym almost every day. It feels really good. I want to be skinny…I really want to be skinny…

Aside from that, Paget Brewster’s makeup artist (from Criminal Minds) got on Twitter and gave us a list of products that they use on her face. Sadly, most of them are MAC and are quite expensive. I went to MAC the other day and tried on the “Fast Play” lip color (AFTER they doused the tube in sanitizer) and I LOVED IT.

So I bought one. Just one. And I’m hooked; the stuff is great. I see why Paget likes this color. It looks good on people like us who have light skin and dark hair. I would collect these lip colors if they weren’t $15 each. Or maybe slowly; you know, one by one, one a week or one every two weeks. 🙂


Beauty and That Whole “Professional” Thing

I have a job interview on Tuesday. Like many other women before me, I used that job interview as an excuse to go clothes shopping.

That’s where everything went to hell.

I don’t love the whole “professional attire” thing. I like the look well enough, but professional clothing only looks good on skinny women. Those professional pants and skirts are made out of material that does not flatter women (like me) with fat hips. Besides, I’m low-key; I prefer to be in jeans and a T-shirt or a hippie skirt and a cami.

I spent three hours at the local mall this afternoon, looking for 2 simple items: a top and a black skirt or pants.

I went into every store that sells womens’ clothing, even the most expensive, way-out-of-my-budget stores like The Limited and Ann Taylor Loft. In the end, I ended up with a top that I like well enough from New York & Company. Normally, this is my favorite store, but their current stock was disappointing. I tried on multiple pairs of pants, skirts and tops until I found this, which – mind you – I’m not crazy in love with. But it fits well enough, it doesn’t make my upper body look fat and it’s blue: my best color.

The problem with professional pants and skirts is that they are cut incredibly thin, with rigid, unyielding material and very straight lines. I’m 5’1″ and have hips, therefore any pants that fit my hips are several inches too long, and I don’t have time for alterations. Straight lines and unyielding material, given my hip size, are not particularly flattering.

Eventually, I ended up with that top and, after hours of searching elsewhere, found myself back at New York & Company, buying a pair of pants that don’t make me look too fat but are made out of stretchy, almost-sweatpant material. I don’t love them, but they were my last option.

Now, as for the top and the pants together…I hate them. I hate them, but given my size, I have no other choices. I was seriously hoping to go into this interview thrilled with how I looked and, therefore, confident. Before you lecture me on the validity of that last statement, let me just say that any woman who claims to love her body is lying to you. We say it because it sounds good, but it is never true. Even the skinniest women hate something about their bodies. This is just how it is.

Barring some miracle occurring tomorrow, however, this interview is not going to be what I hoped for it to be.